I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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