I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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