I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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