Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
