Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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