Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize