Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
