I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
