Its about making memories worth repressing
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
