brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Plan B is the new Plan A
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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