he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
