Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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