Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
