he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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