I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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