I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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