you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
