oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My life is pants optional.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
