I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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