Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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