Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
