I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
