so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
