He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize