i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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