Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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