wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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