Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
