bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
