BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The power of my boobs compel you
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
