we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
