Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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