have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize