Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
