Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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