omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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