Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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