the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
