reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize