This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
