Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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