We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
