And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
