I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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