I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
