Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
