Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
