And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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