well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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