The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We have so much sex to catch up on
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
