You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
