i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he thought i was a dude.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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