Swine flu. Run for my life!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Panties = found
Randomize
