so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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