What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
