Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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