so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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